


What's The Hold Up?

by Esperata



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Arguing, M/M, Prison, Questions, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 11:13:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperata/pseuds/Esperata
Summary: There's one question on everyone's lips: "When is the marriage????"Stuck in the GCPD holding cell, Nygma can't evade the curious inquisition.





	What's The Hold Up?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [what-is-a-fanfic-author (HotShame)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotShame/gifts).



> I wrote this to celebrate the tenth drabble in my 'Ruling the Roost' series, so it links in to that version of Riddlebird, but it can be read independantly.

Being arrested wasn’t so bad – once you got over the initial irritation of your plans being foiled and the pain of a harsh take down had faded. It was all part of the game and the police were generally sporting enough to offer him a drink while he waited in the GCPD cell. So long as he hadn’t pushed things too far. If he had then it was more often a swift transfer to Arkham and he was lucky to avoid tripping en route.

This time however he was being granted bail since his crimes amounted to little more than wasting police time. It would have been a different matter if they’d played out to their conclusion but he wasn’t going to tell them that. Better to keep that finale for another time.

There was really only one major downside of being held in police custody.

“You set a wedding date yet?”

He inhaled slowly and shut his eyes. Jim Gordon was both curious and tenacious. His best qualities as a detective yet utterly frustrating otherwise.

“No.”

“It’s been a while hasn’t it? Are you having trouble getting somewhere?”

Edward opened his eyes to glare. Did the man really think Oswald Cobblepot, the Penguin, would have trouble getting any booking he wanted?

“No. Ozzie hasn’t chosen a venue yet.”

“Well he should probably get a move on. Some of them have waiting lists years long.”

Riddler could feel his teeth grind but tried to plaster on a smile.

“Well you know Oswald, he has to have everything perfect.”

“Oh? So you’re painting this delay as my fault?”

Edward froze before turning his head to see the Penguin stood just outside his cage.

“Oswald.” He smiled weakly. “Perhaps this is a conversation-”

His fiancé however obviously wasn’t in a mood to listen to platitudes.

“Because as I recall, we had the option of several delightful venues. Our only problem was ensuring both grooms would be present at the time.”

The rising pitch drew more curious gazes. Edward tried to keep his own response quiet.

“I promised you I’d make myself available whenever we booked it.”

“Well you’ll forgive me if I prefer a wedding ceremony where one half of the happy couple isn’t subject to a police man hunt!”

“I can evade the police!” he snapped back defensively, causing Oswald to raise a disbelieving eyebrow and pointedly switch his gaze to the cell bars.

“The evidence is against you my dear.”

“They got a lucky break,” Ed muttered.

“I have to say,” Jim interrupted. “No matter what you think of the force, we’d definitely know to find you at your own wedding Nygma.”

“See?” Oswald gestured triumphantly. “How am I supposed to book our wedding when you’re in and out of Arkham like a jack-in-the-box?”

“So… what are you saying?” Edward frowned. “You want to call it off?”

“What? No! Of course not! How could you even think such a thing?”

“Pretty easily.” Ed rose and moved to stand looking at Oswald. “You knew what you were taking on when you agreed to marry me Oswald. I can’t stop being the Riddler. Not even for you.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to. I wouldn’t _want_ you to.”

“Then visits to Arkham, hiding from the police, those are things you’ll have to deal with.”

“I know.” Oswald reached for Ed’s hand. “And I accept that. I _do_.” He smiled softly. “Its just that… I want a proper wedding Eddie. Without fear of arrest or knowing you’re on loan temporarily. I want a _honeymoon_.”

Edward couldn’t help but smile at the innocence in the crime lord’s tone. How could he deny this man anything he truly wanted?

“How about this then.” He wrapped both his hands around Oswald’s. “You book what you want. A venue and a honeymoon. And I swear to you, from the moment I’m free of here until the moment we say ‘I do’, I will do nothing illegal.”

“You really mean that? It could be months,” Oswald added doubtfully.

“I mean it. You have my word,” Ed promised. “Though preferably nowhere with too long a waiting list.”

The suggestion brought a smirk to Os’ lips and he cast a coy glance up at him.

“I’d say we’ve already waited long enough wouldn’t you?” He continued with a thoughtful hum. “I did like the look of Olympus… and I’m sure I could negotiate favourable terms…”

“If anyone can you can,” Edward purred affectionately. His fawning praise was rewarded with a generous concession from his fiancé.

“If you really manage to keep out of trouble til our wedding day, then I’ll help you start our honeymoon off with a flourish. I _know_ you didn’t complete your grand finale today.”

Riddler’s eyes lit up.

“That will give me time to perfect the plan too. Oh Ozzie. You’re so good to me.”

A throat clearing broke their enraptured gaze and they both looked to Gordon irritably.

“You’re still in the GCPD Nygma. I don’t think you should be boasting about future crimes.”

“You do have a point,” Ed conceded before adding, “Though there’s no crime in _talking_ , Detective.”

“When we get home,” Oswald promised him. “Speaking of which.” He released Ed’s hands and turned fully to the detective. “Is it the usual bail?”

“Yes-” He cut himself off as Penguin pre-empted him by handing over a prewritten cheque. Stepping forward he unlocked the cell. “Try not to do anything criminal Nygma.”

“I gave my fiancé my word Detective,” Riddler commented in an affronted tone before ignoring him and wrapping himself in Oswald’s embrace.

“Let’s go home dearest. We have a lot of planning to do.”

As Penguin led his newly freed fiancé away Gordon sighed. He hoped they meant wedding planning but suspected not. At any rate, at least they had a window of peace before whatever extravaganza they meant to pull.

“Bullock? Better make sure we have extra officers on duty for whatever date they set. Its likely to be a busy night.”


End file.
